The Hottest Bitch at The Club

Music is pumping, overpriced cocktails are flowing, and guys are flocking to the dance floor like wild animals on the prowl. Lots of beautiful people plague the streets at night in search of a lucky strike. Oh, Los Angeles. What a magical melting pot of crazy personalities and elevated egos. Among other skills, this wonderful city has graced me with numerous opportunities to learn the ins and outs of 20-something-year-olds’ pheromone-driven behavior.

Ah, yes… sexual hormones and hopeful souls inundate the air like a summer day glare. Fortunately for you, I’m here to pass on some valuable knowledge I have gathered through the years as a loyal Angelina (the city that is, not the sexy bitch). So listen up ladies and gays, because what I am about to tell you will save you thousands of dollars and years of your life worth of therapy (although I will gladly take your money).

Have you ever noticed how there is always one girl or guy who steals all the attention the minute they walk in? No matter where you are- club, bar, gym, restaurant, even work- you cannot help but feel attracted to that person?

Yes, I know you have, because I’ve been there too. You met Miss Every-Dude-Wants-Her, or maybe Mr. Cockiness Himself, at some point in your life. Ever wonder how they do it; how they manage to turn every head and get every free drink or telephone number? What is it about these genetically-fortunate specimens that makes it look so easy?

Well, years and years of partying my way up in life, and studying the human mind and behavior, I have come to learn that their fabulousity has little to do with their God or Dr. 90210-given looks and bodies.  Well, I am not ruling that out completely, of course. Yet what truly morphs these individuals into never-ending magnets of lust is merely their confidence; their attitude. Attitude is everything in this world. Let me put it this way; the hottest girl at the club is not the prettiest: the hottest girl at the club is the one who thinks she is the hottest. That is the chick every guy wants. Guaranteed. And yes, you too can find your inner bitch. You can totally become that fiery sexy beast you have always dreamed of being. I know, because I have played and mastered that game, and so can you.

Classic Cognitive-Behavioral therapy; it’s all about power over mind. Tell yourself you are a hot, marvelous and unstoppable force not to be reckoned with. I’m serious! Every morning when you wake up, compliment yourself. Every night when you are getting dressed up, tell yourself you are looking mighty fine. Hey, after all, they say “fake it ‘til you make it.” That means you can train yourself (more specifically, your thoughts) to believe what you want to believe. My guess is, you have already trained your brain to believe “you’re fat” or “you’re not as pretty as that girl on TV.” That’s all a waste of time, and most importantly, a waste of a SEXY, FIERY BITCH! Why not train your brain to do something good for yourself? Whether you have to repeat it “I am a sexy beast” out loud or write it down a hundred times, it does not matter what it takes. What matters is that the search for your inner strength begins today, and ends with YOU becoming The Hottest Bitch at the Club tomorrow.


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