I have always been a high stress person. I used to have something close to panic attacks when I was younger. I cried all night when I got my first C on a math test in 3rd grade. I am an utter perfectionist, and as I previously mentioned, a control freak. Being born and raised in LA probably hasn’t helped, but who really wants to be from Nebraska anyway?
It’s funny because from elementary through high school I thought I was at my highest level of stress, when I really had absolutely nothing to be so worried about. Do 9 year olds need to cry over their weekly book reports? The answer is no, but sometimes I would. Towards the end of high school and through college, I learned to chill the fuck out with ample assistance from my parents. They helped me realize that if no one is about to die, then really it will all be okay (they are total hippies FYI. More on this later; they have ridiculous stories). However, I would still occasionally have minor attacks here and there; I found that punching walls and/or people really helped calm me down (super unhealthy I’m sure, but hey, I found what works for me). Those close to me could also very easily tell when I was on the edge of a meltdown, and consequently in the mood to cut you with my super cute, yet super spiky and dangerous House of Harlow ring (got it from Kitson. SO adorable yet stealthy).
Through my 20s I feel like I have gotten a much better handle of myself; breathing exercises my mom taught me seem to help me find my center. Just closing my eyes and breathing deeply as I count to 7 seriously brings me back down from over the edge. I’m currently running my own department at work, which is super bad ass, I know, but also is starting to bring out the psycho emotional bitch within. I know I’m kicking ass at what I do, but sometimes the feeling of not being to handle it all has me drowning. I like being able to call the shots, and know that I can successfully carry this type of responsibility and am trusted with it. Sometimes it is as simple as just leaving the office during lunch instead of eating at my desk. After seeing friends with stressful jobs that pay more money but leave them utterly depressed, angry, and bitter I have decided that some sort of reasonable work/life balance needs to be in place. I will work my ass off and do whatever it takes but I also need to make sure I get Me time to maintain my sanity.
A serious goal of mine is to be a PowerBitch (I saw this fabulous Chanel suit in Florence when I was 18 and just knew I needed a job, office, car, house, personal trainer, and personal chef to match the lifestyle that the suit exuded). So being a high stress nutjob totally works with my life aspirations, but realizing when and how to bring it down a notch or three can make all the difference.
Some days are good, and some days are bad. The fact that there are more good ones than bad means life must still be pretty sweet, right? When all else fails, use your best friend as a punching bag; you can take her out to dinner later to make up for it.
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